The Two Things You'll Need to Save Your Life

What can we do to help us prevail against an attack?

Studies show most of us are worried about crime. You as a woman, are particularly focused on the threat of rape.

Yet, many of us have this normalcy bias which prevents us evaluating threats correctly because we tend to underestimate the magnitude of the threat or deny that the situation is deteriorating to the point of danger.

So, what can we do to improve our responses and our odds of prevailing over an attack or sexual assault which can be life-threatening?

Unfortunately, many of us have been led to believe that high-
stress situations have a crystalizing effect on the brain which can lead us to perform at a higher level than normal. There is the myth that we can perform superhuman feats when we need to. Like the mother who miraculously lifts the car off of her pinned child.

Unfortunately, science pretty much lets the air out of that balloon.

High levels of
 stress almost always degrade mental and physical
 performance.


That's the trouble with believing that we perform best 
under stress -- most of the time it's not true.
 When we are hit with a high-stress situation, we can start to go downhill quickly. Our brains can't
 process information efficiently, we don't see what's
 happening around us as clearly, we start to struggle
 to control our anxiety, and we start to make stupid
 mistakes. Our bodily functions change as the
 adrenaline dump hits our bloodstream:

• Our heart rate increases.

• We get tunnel vision.

• We can experience auditory exclusion.

• Our blood flows to our core away from our extremities.

• Our mouth gets dry.

• Our stomach feels like it has 'butterflies'.

• Our arms and legs feel heavy and wooden.

• We may begin having disassociated thoughts.

• We typically are in denial about what is happening.

We have to work to overcome the very real and very
 natural degradation we all experience in these times. In 
our case, this high-level of anxiousness is common and
 natural -- after all we are under attack! Just like the fear
 of heights or the fear of loud noises are completely
natural, all of us are fearful of pain, injury and death.
 But we have to work to keep our heads and stay
 efficient and effective with our defense -- our lives
 depend on it.


Extreme stress degrades our mental abilities when
 anxiety levels rise to a level of panic. We see this even 
in the safe training environment of a course where certain students
 begin to lose control of their thought processes and 
literally begin to flail against a mock attack, forgetting 
even the most basic technique. Sometimes they are
 incapable of following simple verbal directions.
 I've seen at least two high-stress training and testing environments where one participate could not state his own name and another could no longer respond to any questions. These two students had mentally shut down. They could only stand and stare off into the distance. This despite no real danger present at all.

It's our job to give you the framework to overcome this
 natural, often instinctual, reaction.
There is evidence that shows that there is an optimal
 level of arousal for increased physical performance.
 Athletes, warfighters, and cops get "amped up" for the
 game, the mission, or the shift. It is necessary to have a
 certain level of arousal to be alert and aware of the
 environment on the field, battlespace or beat.

This


 
prime level of attention and excitement puts you in the
"zone" where athletes and combatants report seeing
 everything in slow motion and knowing they could not
 miss. If you are untrained, you will most likely fall on 
one side or the other of the arousal scale:

• Too little
 arousal and you can be inattentive and unaware of
 danger cues;

• Too much arousal and you are hyper
anxious and scattered with a resulting degradation of 
your ability to defend yourself.


So, how do we move into the "zone"?


We often trick our students 
into the kinds of behaviors that can help avoid panic.


As we work with them and present them with a typical
 attack we will say, "what's your biggest problem
 right 
now
?" We try to frame the attack as a series of
 problems that you have to solve. In fact, many times
 attacks are presented as "problems" to start to de-
escalate the situation by subtly changing the language
 we use. Instead of yelling, "oh my god, he's trying to
 kill you!", we will coach the students by saying, "what's
 bugging you right now?"

This takes some stress off
 students and gets them concentrating on the most 
immediate threat and solving the crisis one piece at a
time. It's easier to eat a pizza one bite at a time, slice
 by slice, than to try and figure out how to eat the whole pizza all at once. Breaking down the problem into 
manageable steps helps students focus their minds


. This results in a calmer, more measured approach to
 defending themselves.


Military psychologists studying elite performance assert
 that attention to the most critical aspect at the right time 
is the key to high-level functioning in a high-stress
 environment. In other words -- first things first.


Concentrate on the most important -- the most
 necessary -- problem first:

• If the attacker is choking
 you, you have to keep your airway clear instead of
 trying to get away.

• If the attacker is stabbing you, you 
must first stop and secure the knife instead of trying to 
hit him in the groin.


Just as a fighter pilot uses a checklist and works the
 problem in the cockpit in a systemic approach, we want
 you to follow a mental checklist as you solve the
 problem of the attack. If you take the online courses, you are going to see and hear how we coach with a verbal template. We break down the key parts of the defensive technique and repeat the key points as you perform the moves. For the defensive position when you are pushed to the ground, the attacker is in between your thighs, and rape is imminent, it will sound like this:

1. Hands up!

2. Feet on his hips!

3. Push back!

4. Kick, kick, kick!

5. Escape!

Breaking a technique into the key performance points is something similar to what golfers might call 'swing thoughts'. High-level competitive shooters report using the same method. One national champion says his template goes like this:

1. Grip!

2. Sights!

3. Trigger press!

4. Follow through!

Another shooting instructor says his thoughts are:

1. Sights!

2. Stablize muzzle!

3. Trigger press!

When we instill a verbal template for key thoughts into our training, it provides a mental checklist to both remind us what to do, and also to calm our mind by concentrating it on our process to solve the problem.

Instructors and students tell us
 they can "hear" our voices in their head guiding them through
 the techniques when the stress is turned up. I've 
had students who've prevailed in real-life incidents and attacks who 
said they heard the key points as they defended
 themselves. I've had one female student tell me, "I heard your voice telling me what to do". Another male student says the attacker came at him with a common swinging attack. We routinely practice the response to just that attack. He followed the verbal template to solve the problem. "It was just like class", he reported.


Responding automatically takes concentration on what you are doing. You
 can't expect to have a clear mind during
 a life-threatening attack just because you've read this
 book and promised yourself you'll do it when need
ed. I have always had a serious disagreement with a personal safety
 author who is well-known on a national level about physical responses to sexual assault. He is an expert on the mechanics and the motivations behind interpersonal violence, but he asserts that you'll simply "know what to do" if you are using your intuition and awareness to predators. Your inner warrior princess will come out when you are threatened and you will naturally fight back.

I'm going to say 'nope', I don't agree with that at all. If you've never seen, experienced, or practiced something, you are not going to be able to respond well, especially when you are thrown into it unexpectedly. If you never studied for the test, you are probably going to fail the test. If you've seen any video tapes of normal people caught in violent situations, it's not unusual to see people exhibiting these types of responses:

• Frozen into inaction.

• Mouths open in shock, hands coming up to their face or to their chest.

• Complete surrender and cooperation.

• Strangely trying to carry on with their behavior like everything is 'normal'.

The Two Things You'll Need to Save Your Life

To save your life, you'll need to be focused like you've
 never been before -- something rarely happens
 naturally during a violent assault.
 To be this focused you'll need:


1. Preparation


2. Practice


Preparation and practice will include both 
psychological and physical aspects.
 It's often said that knowledge is power. Knowing what
 to expect, what you're likely to feel, how your body will 
react, and what an attacker most likely will do gives you
 valuable psychological preparation. This aspect is
 extremely important to begin conditioning your mind 
and body to handle the effects of stress, adrenaline, 
fear, and physical pain.


But knowing something intellectually is not the same as
 knowing something physically. Just because I tell you


 
the water is cold, you're still going to feel the shock of 
the sudden plunge. You have to experience the
 physical aspect of it as well as the psychological 
aspect.

There is also a performance issue that we sum
 up as
 If you can't show it, you don't know it.


In other
 words, if we can't perform a technique physically, it's 
moot that we are "familiar" with the technique in our
 mind. We see it all the time in training martial artists
 who get stuck in a position and say, "I know this move,
 but I'm not sure how to do it." What is happening is that
 a technique or move is familiar to them because they have seen it before. But it's not been practiced enough (or
 practiced at all in some cases) to actually perform it.
 So, their brain says hey, I know this move, we've seen it before. Our brain accesses this file from memory. It feels familiar and, therefore, we 'know' it. However, when our brain tries to find the pathways to command our physical movements, they are either not built yet or not paved well enough to perform the technique.

That's why I say, if we can't show it, we don't know it. The correct answer is for us to be responding physically to solve the problem.

This happens regularly when we look at something in a
 book (like this one). We study it, believe it makes sense, and tell
 ourselves we'll remember how to do it if and when we need to. Baloney. When
 the stress is on, you'll not be able to "think" of how to 
do it. You have to "know" how to do it.

And knowing
 how to do it comes from most people call
 muscle
 memory
, but what is actually more of developing neural
 pathways in the brain. In reality, muscles have no
 memory, they simply contract in response to the
 stimulus of an electrical shock. Skills, on the other
hand, are honed in the brain as our brain grooves a
 pathway after we perform the movement enough
 times. The more times performed, the thicker the groove and the 
easier to perform under stress.

This groove I mention is really called myelination:

Myelination is the process by which an electrically insulating layer known as a myelin sheath develops over neurons, the nerve cells responsible for transmitting electrical signals throughout the body.

The thicker the myelin sheath, the easier and faster the electrical signals can move.

We can actually build the generation of new myelin by habitual practicing. By repeatedly firing the signals along our neural pathways, our body recognizes that this is a thought process or action that is important. In turn, our body thickens the myelin sheath along this pathway to make communications faster and our thoughts or actions more efficient and effective.

Consistent repetition. This is critical. Conversely, it is said that if we stop doing an action for 30 days, the myelin along that pathway will start to break down.

"The used key is always bright." Benjamin Franklin

Researchers say it’s important to repeat the behavior frequently, even if only in short bursts. Surprisingly, working on the skill or habit is more about the quality than the quantify. Apparently we don't have to spend hours doing a skill, just some high-quality reps every day.

Appropriately, there is a very famous Russian kettle bell instructor who uses the phrase "grease the groove" by advocating simply performing five repetitions of a movement multiple times a day. For example, when trying to perfect a movement, he suggests to find a place or an activity which triggers our action and then just do five repetitions of the exercise. This trainer's claims to make us realize remarkable gains in skills with this simple trick seems to be well-founded in science.

There is definitive 
research that shows the highest performers in sport
 have substantially more hours of practice than lesser
 athletes. We know this -- when we first learn
 something we feel clumsy, but gain more
 competence as we do the activity over and over.
 Little kids are great at this. They will do something over and over again naturally, without fear of failure. I heard there was one study that showed toddlers learning to walk fell an average of 70 times a day. But that doesn't stop them from continuing to learn.

There is a famous study about musicians done by Anders Ericsson and popularized by Malcom Gladwell which has become known as the so-called 10,000 Hour Rule. Ericsson's research showed, not surprisingly, musicians who were rated the most competent practiced more during the week than less competent musicians. Seems pretty self-evident, I know. But somehow we seem to forget this key point in our busy daily lives.

Mastery is evident by smoothness and grace in
 motion.


Bottom line, we need to practice. And practice. The more we practice, the more our techniques and our responses become more automatic, more efficient, and more effective.

The more prepared you are mentally and physically, 
the more likely you are to prevail.


When facing an attack you have to 
be
 ready, you
 don't have time to
 get
 ready.


This is going to be one of your most valuable lessons in preparing for your own self-defense.

There are no tricks or magical techniques. Only responses that have been well trained.

1. Get prepared with instruction, preferably realistic instruction.

2. Practice your techniques regularly. Even if only five times each time.